In which it is the end. Pt. 2

So today marks the official end of my junior year of high school. It's been pretty fun, drama has cut down an enormous amount compared to my other years of life. It's been pretty peaceful too and I hope it remains that way for quite a while. And my last post about my friend being missing; he was grounded for a stupidly long amount of time, but he's back now. (He comes back the day after I write a blog post, gee should've done that a month ago eh?) I never thought of how sad the year can be when it comes to its' end. I've had a wonderous time in school beyond words. My onigiri was a hit at the ROTC party - that being said; saying good-byes to seniors I know and love is really hard to do. We got incredibly emotional and though it is time for them to move on, we take their place in hopes of becoming better.
But; my grades still remain, my bitch of an english teacher gave my project which is a final a 75. Partially my fault since I didn't meet the "two-page" requirement; but honestly can ANYONE write a two page poem about a subject without repitition of previous statements? God; she gave people 40s, 50s and 60s. A friend of mine even saw a 10. I hate her. I hope she burns in the fiery depths of hell that annoying bitch. (She's not married at all and she's liek middle aged and fugly.) She needs to get laid.
So yeah, the school years over but I still have regents to take. :/. Well, better hit the sack, gotta wake up in 6 hours.
Nighty night - and sweet dreams.

xoxo
Valentine

In which it is the end.

Lately I've been feeling a bit depressed about a lot of things.
The end of my junior year in high school ends in officially one and 1/2 days. I then move on to become a senior, preparing to be a freshman all over again in college, rebuilding my reputation, claiming who I am in this world once again. Even without this movement to a new year, I still cry regardless - one of my most dearest friends has disappeared from MSN, and I haven't seen him for two months. At first, he was missing for a week - I thought the same thing as I did before, he's probably busy, but I do see him in bits and pieces of time. This time he's been gone a whole week, and I haven't seen or heard from him. I'm scared for where he might be. What might have happened to him. He was my best of best friends, and I doubt I'd be able to continue life enjoyably without him. His disappearance has put a damper on my spirit. That and listening to Keep Holding On by Avril Lavigne doesn't help either.
Everytime I listen to Keep Holding On, it renews my passion, makes me laugh, makes me cry, makes me smile. I get goosebumps listening to the lyrics - as if they demean me from helping. It makes me seem useless in a world full of need. It's weird how everyone who does well academically has some astounding passion to save mankind - it raises the question; do we do it because we want fame, do we do it because we want to, or do we do it because it is our destiny to do so.
My passion for wanting to help people was never about fame. I don't care for glory, I don't care for fame or riches. I believe I get more out of helping people, that feeling and sense of accomplishment and self-pride for doing so. That in itself has no price tag; it is not purchasble, it is to be gained. The only reason why I planned to go on American Idol or AGT was not because of fame, but because if I succeeded I would be able to raise so much money to help people than I would as a nobody. But I now made the complete decision not to audition for any of it all. I fear the success - I can't handle the job stress of paparazzi swarming me. I don't want to be pitied for the mistakes I make in the business - judged by millions of people who think they know me because they read fan sites about my life, but at the same time, if I had become successful; by me making this decision, am I robbing those in need of a better life. Am I that selfish to do so.

xoxo
Valentine.

In which I am satisfied.

This week has been a pretty good week for me.
I gave in my major project for ROTC - got a 100 x 3 <3. So awesome possum. :3 Video-editting skills are win~.
I got a 100 on my Constitutional Law essay/test thing. Which apparently is the "best essay" my Con law teacher has read in a few years..she was all "LIKE, OMG. THIS WAS SO GOOD. OH LORD."
I got creepers when she said that. I sorta also set a new standard against internet pornography and it's distribution to minors. (I'm going to be so hated for this). A girl who's part of my group (we're Congress) asked me to fill her in, so I told her my idea, which is making people validate their SSN on a pornographic website before they can proceed because you can't go around stealing SSN's from your mom or dad, and it forces you to know your SSN. So she was like" Wait, why SSN? What about the immigrants, they don't have SSNs, how are they going to watch porn?!" I jokingly said, that why are they on the computer? They should be working. But if she brings up that point again Im just gonna say, more of a reason to have it since it'll stop immigrants from coming in. Land of Opportunity - Easy porn usage = Stay back to wherever the hell you came from because you can get porn easily there.
I've got some good feelings about my finals, hopefully they agree with me. The year is coming to an end, and I still have so much on my plate. I'm just as happy as can be right now.

xoxo
Valentine.

In which I talky~

So, my last post was about my future career choices, and well I still face the predicament of what I should choose.
Anyways, D'ar, you do realize teachers get a tax-deduction because they're civil servants right? :3. Pastry Chefs may make almost the same amount of money as teachers, they do not receive any deductions on their taxes. Plus, even though you don't deal with snotty kids, you do realize you'll have to work in a fast-paced environment with a head chef yelling orders at you. (Kinda like Gordon Ramsey, only he doesn't call you a fucking idiot every 3 1/2 seconds because it won't be the only words in his vocabulary.)
I've lately gotten very very agitated. Mainly cause I'm stressed about my grades, and these two big finals I have that are due soon. Both my teachers for these finals made it so that the finals isn't a test, but a project. My constitutional law project is writing legislation for pornography laws. Keep in mind, my con law teacher is like, 75 years old stuck in a permanent pelvic thrust position. The class is mad fun, but it's just creepy when you have a 75 year old lady teaching you con law who also happens to be a sex freak.
Speaking of sex freak, there's been a rumor going around my school of a 16-year-old sophmore taking pictures of herself nude and sending it to a guy she liked, who didn't like her and sent the picture to everyone in his phonebook. The girl produced child pornography, apparently in blue panties, but revealed everything else. I personally haven't seen the pictures, but from other people's accounts, they say she's ugly as hell, flat and saggy boobs, with a big nose, and pimples on both her boobs and face. After hearing these accounts - I don't think I want to see this picture at all. But I hope she goes to jail and so does the guy who sent these pictures. She's so desperate to have sex, it's pitiful. I feel no remorse for her, she committed the dumbest mistake one can make, and since her body is being ridiculed and scrutinized, it is no one's fault but her own.
Anyways, I should be going to sleep soon, because I have to do a project tommorow with 3 people who are lazy as hell. One girl in my group is a complete idiot. Like, the biggest idiot I've ever met in my life, and I've met some PRETTTTYY big idiots. She's got the most dumbest idea's I've ever heard, it's a good thing she's not working directly under Obama and the Economics chapter, because our country would be in deeper shit. "I bought a bag of 15 candies, and a bag of 200 candies!" - - why the fuck would you buy a bag of 15 and then a bag of 200. We only needed 80. "Let's hire a clown! But make sure I'm not there, because Im afraid of clowns" -- WHY EVEN SUGGEST THAT THEN. And my favorite one : "My mom thinks the subways are dangerous, can't we take a car service?" - - Subway fares : $2.00 USD + free 2hr. transfer. Car service from Queens to Manhattan: Approxiamately 351.46$USD. Her mother also thinks that Upper East manhattan is dangerous. Upper East Manhattan is where all the RICH WHITE KIDS live, what the fuck is so dangerous about that? It's also where Gucci, Prada, Armani Exchange, Louis Vuitton, F.A.O. Schwartz are around, what's the danger in that? Afraid of them shoving LV bags in your face telling you to buy them?
Lastly, I really hate some people on MSN. Like this one guy, who messages me, says Hi, and some random shit (Today it was about how his nose was runny - I tell him to take some medicine then) and then he says he just did. And then he's like, well I'm out, I need my sleep, good night.
WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU MESSAGE, WASTE 5 MINUTES OF MY LIFE TO TELL ME USELESS SHIT AND THEN TELL ME YOU NEED SLEEP. I'm not your fucking sleep aid, don't message me telling me shit about your life when you need sleep. Jesus Christ, next time I'm just gonna cut people off - If your convo does not past a 15 minute mark, do not continue beyond this point.

xoxo
Valentine
-Dealing with stupids all week, allllllll week.

In which I update.

So, it's been a few days since I wrote in this blog, I've been really lazy lately. And it's starting to concern me horrifically.
I've gotten lazy on my schoolwork, and it's the end of the year. This last term is the most important, because it is the grade that goes on my transcript. My test scores haven't been excellent, so there is no doubt in my mind that my grades are going to plummet. I'm scared, of course, because I've had another alteration to the career I wish to pursue in the future.
I originally wanted to be a forensic scientist (like CSI, but I'm so much cooler) but then I was reading this article on Yahoo!, and it said that the top 10 most pursued careers at the moment included both Forensic Scientists and Pastry Chefs. Forensic scientists make an annual averaged salary of 61,000$/year and Pastry Chefs make 41,000$/year (This is for those who aren't top award winning chefs cooking in 5-star places).
I asked my mother, if she would permit and support me in the career change to a pastry chef. Because I can bake some mean stuff. She told me that she'd support me regardless, but it's my father I need to get through. She told me that being a forensic scientist will let you help people, and provide families with the closure they seek. She says that she won't mind if I was a pastry chef part time to learn a new skill, because skills are good for anyone. She then told me some story about this world-famous top forensic scientist -- Dr. Lee, I still haven't looked him up, but apparently he's very wanted for his ability to solve cases 99.9% of the time, even if the crime was committed many many years ago. Finally, she told me to use my brain rather than my hands for a career. So in the end, it leaves me with one questions -- Don't all careers require us to use our brain AND our hands? We all need both of them, not in equal ratios, but we still use them.
A lawyer uses his brain to come up with questions on the spot, perceive the information that comes to them, bend the testimony of witnesses to their will (lul, lawyers would make good new Avatars for testimony bending). A lawyer uses his hands to write, and carry all the documents they need to support their arguements in court.
A forensic scientist uses his brain to study and examine the evidence that comes to them. Figuring out compounds of certain things, think of ways to discover new evidence, putting pieces of a puzzle together in order to get the full picture. A forensic scientist uses his hands to collect evidence extensively, carries evidence back and forth, uses lab equipment, and must be careful with all reagants in the lab as well as the lab itself.
A pastry chef uses his brain to concoct new and creative recipes, measure the ingredients in their mind, come up with ways to perfect a recipe, ways to alterate it without destroying it, creating harmony and melody between flavors. A pastry chef uses his hands to construct their recipes, build a towering cake, a bombastic cupcake full of flavor.

In the end, I am still at a crossroads to choose my career. But whatever I choose to do, I will do it with my passion for it.

Back to normal life, if I were to go on AGT, which I might, still thinking, I'm gonna totally do Jai Ho by PCD, but I don't understand why Nicole Scherzwinger sings it JAY-HO, when it's obvious that it's JAI-HO. I really wish Nicole would stop hogging all the limelight, because they really need to change their name from the Pussycat Dolls to "Nicole and the girls who dance behind her because Nicole hogs all the singing, and we don't even get to sing backup"

But Nicole looks mad indian, she could totally pass as an indian girl.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_7AyQpsukM
^ Embed disabled per request. :[

xoxo
Valentine.

In which I discuss : Six Flags.

This trip was semi-disappointing to be honest.
First, my friends and I went to Wild Safari to look at them animals. It was kinda funny, and amazes me how the animals aren't afraid of the cars. Some of them even walk out in the middle of the road when there are cars. Two ostriches walked by the middle of the road, and a train of little ducklings and their parents. It was so cute. There was this one car that was stuck in the left lane of the road because this ostrich was towering over it. Like literally standing 2 inches from the driver's side. I felt bad for them cause the ostrich pecked at their window a little. It didn't move for a good 20 minutes, so those poor people were stuck there. I liked Wild Safari, amazes me how much land Six Flags owns.
Second, we went to the actual theme park Six Flags, and that was the disappointing part of the trip. Kingda Ka wasn't open, so no crazy roller coaster for me to ride on..sadly. I did however got to go on Twister, the Sky Ride and Go Karts. Go Karts were freakin' awesome, I never realized what a reckless driver I can be. I wasn't bad, but I just sped like hell, even after they said "no drifting" I drifted like hell. There was this pink car with some girl in it, and I really wanted to pass her before the 6 laps were up, but nooo, the bitch kept moving left and right on straight paths, and sticking to the side on the curves. Bitch. But I got past her and did the same shit to her.
But this wasn't the disappointing part of the trip. The disapointing parts were the limitless numbers of nagging whiners. I mean, not to be racist, but while I was there I only saw a trend of naggers -- they were all black people. I mean, this isn't a joke, but that's what happened. Not once in the 4 hours I was there, did I hear someone from another ethnicity whine about something.
For instance, while I was standing in line @ Guest Relations to ask something, there was a pretty long line, but also these two people who were talking to the employees for a good 10 minutes. I don't mind waiting, because they're probably going through some reservation issues, and that can take a while, hell if it were me, I'd expect the same patience. But no, this black girl with this heavy jamaican accent comes along and says "this is boolshit, waiting in line." Then don't wait in line. She talks to her guy friend, and I was eaves dropping, listening to her whine about the long line, the long wait, and mocking this girl who was one of the people talking to the employees. Her friend then tells her that she owes him 50$ because of the money he spent on her today. Her reply: "it's my birthday, I owe you nothing." I turned around, and knocked that bitch out. That's the dumbest fucking excuse ever. Tell that to the IRS, or Immigration, or perhaps use it to get out of paying the medical bills that will cover the treatment on the black eye I just gave you.
Another instance, I was waiting in line to play this game, where you throw a ball at this board, and it has to go into the bucket in order for you to win this big ass life sized stuffed animal. This black woman won, and asked for the BamBam doll (I think it's BamBam, the little baby girl from The Flintstones) anyways, she takes her prize, looks at it, and sees a tear. Now keep in mind, these shits have huge ass heads, of course the neck tears. She brings it back to the kiosk to ask for something else. The employee is suffering by dragging this doll to this pen in the middle and tries to get her something else. He does this twice. And then she just asks for the BamBam doll back. I should've knocked her out too.
Finally, when I wanted to go to the paintball kiosk, there were these three black people. Now this wasnt naggy, but it was just so fucking annoying. They were just spending money shooting at STATIONARY targets, and was all "HEADSHOT" of course you'll get a headshot, it was STATIONARY. If you can't get a headshot, you might as well give yourself a headshot. It was retarded because they seriously thought it was counter-strike.

Ugh, horrible day. And Im not a racist! This is what happened today, and it's bad enough that I need to say it.

xoxo
Valentine

In which I bore myself.

It really sucks how when the weather is down, my own emotions are down as well.
It's 4:21PM right now, and I need to wait another six hours before my dad picks me up so we can go on our family vacation. Sadly it's one day.. Im not allowed to prolong it to Tuesday cause I have a chemistry test. Damn you ms. Triola (chem teacher) she's awesome though, so no worries I guess.
Lately I think everyone's been down, and pretty depressed. I press my little MSN icon on my toolbar, and out pops the list of people, with depressing statuses or display names. I find it kinda funny how people come to me for advice, and decide not to talk to me after I do, so then they're left at a crossroads about whether or not they should ask me for more advice, but shouldn't because they decide not to IM you for about two months. Pitiful really. I could care less, it's not my life, it's yours.
My life is at a crossroads too however. I still haven't chosen a major for college yet. I keep asking myself is this what I really want to do. Forensic scientist -- it's great, but way too much paperwork.
Psychotherapy -- Dealing with insanity -- no thanks, Im pretty insane myself.
Sociologoy -- I'll end up building a nuke that kills people who are stoopid, cause I think their actions are the most retarded things in the world. Like my friend who payed 86$ for the AP Global test and decides not to write the 3 required essays that account for 50% of the grade. Good job, why don't you just NOT take AP if you can't handle writing the fucking essay. Good job wasting your mom's money.

Decisions like these make me think whether or not I'll die from stress before the age of 25. It's not so surprsing, Im not suicidal or anything, but these career choices will eventually end up leading you to death anyways, wouldn't it be easier if you just jumped now, instead of going with it.

xoxo
The Confused Valentine.